Yes, the unthinkable has happened. The Islamofacists ™ have struck again, this time focusing their dastardly evils upon Hollywood and the music industry.

Yes, my fellow Americans – Britney Spears saga is a direct attack by people from the dark recesses of Islamofacist ™ land.

CBS, in their Britney Was “Trembling” story reported:

Sheeraz Hasan … told Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen Tuesday that he’d spoken with Spears’ new beau, photographer Adnan Ghalib, as the media crush was unfolding Monday.

…

Hasan says Ghalib told him Spears was “really nervous” and “really panicking” when she was being mobbed by the media at the courthouse, and opted to skip the hearing and go to church, feeling she had, at that instant, “no one to turn to except God.”

That’s it, don’t you see? Look at the names – Hasan and Ghalib.

It is obviously al-Qaeda, umm al-Qaida, uh al-Qa’ida, you know – those guys. They have plotted and have succeeded in bringing down a great American dynasty, have damaged the reputation of the nations top performing artists, have inflicted harm on Hollywood and the music industry, and have diverted attention from the scandalous magnificent and righteous “war on terror ™”

A secret report from the Council on Foreign Relations and AIPAC notes that the plot was borne of the complete hatred the Islamofacists ™ have for our freedoms. AIPAC noted that they hate America’s young singers and dancers because they represent freedom. Their evils have nothing to do with American intervention in the Middle East or our support for the apartheid freedom loving State of Israel.

A reporter who questioned the AIPAC spokesman in regard to the lack of attacks on other “freedom loving” countries like Norway, Portugal, Ireland, and Switzerland was told that he was immature in his analysis.

The reporter was later detained and sent to an undisclosed tropical prison camp. No charges were filed but a Justice Department analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated that the reporter had promoted terrorism against other “freedom loving” countries.

While some have posited a tie between Hasan, Ghalib, and the Saudi Royal Family, President Bush has decided to bomb and invade Costa Rica. His father, the former President Bush, came down with stomach upset after eating a meal there in 1997. The President noted that Ghalib has a vacation home in Costa Rica and that the Costa Rican government was supporting this plot. He urged all American to pray for Ms. Spears.