The people who walked in darkness
        have seen a great light;
 upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom
        a light has shone.
 You have brought them abundant joy
        and great rejoicing

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

I have been out-of-sorts. This hasn’t been a temporary thing, but has been ongoing, that feeling of unease, not knowing where one is or where one is going. I’ve missed things, feel as if I’ve been wandering without direction.

I suppose it is a lot of things. Like all of us, we have those things that press on us. They can be health worries, worries about loved ones, concerns over the everlasting bureaucracy that seems to place roadblocks in the way of getting anything accomplished.

I am usually self-assured, and even when I do not reduce my plans to writing, I am on top of it. I haven’t been. By now I should have watched every classic Christmas movie (Miracle on 34th Street, The Bishop’s Wife, White Christmas, Scrooge (with Alistair Sim), It’s A Wonderful Life, and so on). I have only seen a couple. Take for example this past Sunday – how could Father forget to light the Advent wreath candles? There was other stuff I missed too.

Feeling out of sorts brings about its own fears, trepidation, wonder about what else one may be forgetting.

Then this experience.

On Monday I did all my last-minute running around. I kind of like that hustle and bustle of the last day or two before Christmas. I felt finally a bit of peace, I had a plan, and it was getting done.

First, I had to stop back at Pathways. One resident’s family presented me with a lovely gift, which I left behind in another room (talk about being out-of-sorts) where I had given communion. The staff were kind in retrieving it for me and that was settled. Then off to Euro Deli for all the wonderful Polish goodies needed for our Vigil / Wigilia Supper and things for our parish Repast tonight and tomorrow. I had two bags filled up and other stuff.

I also forgot – Fr. Out-of-Sorts – to order white roses for the baby Jesus, so I stopped at Randolph’s and thankfully they accommodated me.

Armed with the rose arrangement and the goodies, I stopped at church. I put the bags in the foyer, checked the mail, a set the roses in place. Having done that, I reset the carillon to play Christmas hymns throughout the season. And then…

I heard the door and rustling downstairs.

Hmmm….

Guess who I encountered?

It was one of our food pantry customers. He was filling his bags with the things from my bags. The stuff for my family Vigil Dinner, the goodies for our Repast.

This man was all the things that would put us off. He is disheveled, has all sorts of health issues, due to strokes he cannot speak very clearly. He is the perfect representation of pain and want. He is what most avoid. He is what many would react negatively toward if they found him going through their stuff.

My disheveled, out-of-sorts self was facing this disheveled man, and my eyes were finally opened. There was Christ. I was encountering Jesus. I was encountering the Jesus of poverty born in a stable among the livestock, laid in a manger on a cold night. No pillow for His head. Poorer still shepherds as His attendants. Are white roses and decorations enough for Him?

My heart broke for this image of Christ before me and my eyes were opened to setting things in order – not to worry so much about putting things in order, but to allow Jesus to order and sort my life.

This is what we are all called to do, at whatever age we are, to allow this Infant in the manger to order and sort our lives. We are called to see Him in rich and poor eyes, amid plenty and want, always keeping before us the One who asks only love, and in response to give all our love.

 The people who walked in darkness
        have seen a great light